Pause a second when you’re looking at yourself. Is this investigation a deep belly cry to love better or are you just exploiting yourself again? Count to ten.
Do you see this stuff? Do you see all of your shit, your flesh, your mess crying out for attention when it’s your heart that needs the tending! Where are you?
Big heart you’re somewhere. And there are safe places everywhere you know, there are other safe organs in other are safe places that really need to hear the way you talk, and see the way you look – you don’t have to be an open book! Just be here. Surface a while. Bend a little more.
Maybe that feels too hard – but nothing, I mean nothing is more painful than a lack of trusting. But He’ll come anyway. The very nature of His character is counter-intuitive I swear, but He’ll come running through this very lack of trusting. And it will feel weird at first (for the One true good thing in your life doesn’t seem to move when you try to push Him away). He brings the kind of oil that smells really good and heals every inch of you. Every part of you. And it will hurt. It will always hurt more and more and more before it ever gets better. But then it will. The blistering soil won’t look so bubbly anymore and you’ll feel His cool breath on the weight of all your pain – it’s who He is. His yoke is like an over easy egg and His burden is like whipped cream.
And this trusting won’t come easy, it will gripe at the already there and it will cause your heart permission to come around.
Draw near to Him, and He’ll draw near to you. It’s as easy as that. The promise of His presence is there, so even if you’re scared you’ll soon be surrounded by other safe organs in other safe places that will dare to love even the ugly parts of you.
And soon you’ll trust again.
thewalkingdreads 